selections 1

revived from the dead, selections is back.

RIP selections. welcome back selections!

the original selections was a semi-regular newsletter (2019-2020) that brought me much joy to write and share, but that particular cycle of my life outgrew what it was. i’d think about reviving it from time to time, until the small yet monstrous voice of doubt would extinguish that spark. last week, the magnificent moonbeam Maya Mansour published issue 1 of Lots of Lists (subscribe if you haven’t already) and it was the sign i needed to finally resuscitate selections. and so, here we are. thank you, Maya, for beaconing, and thank you for reading. welcome to the new selections:

1. a friend said in an impromptu speech

   at his surprise birthday party,

   we all live caught between fear and love.

   He tried to smile as he spoke, then sat down.

   Yesterday you saw the moon

   from the operating table

   where they were about to cut you.

   Look! you demanded, and the surgeon bent and turned

   to see it from your angle,

   knife in hand.

   from Jim Moore’s “Fear and Love”

2. i’ve recently experienced a sweep of major life changes. i left my home of 37 years, Los Angeles, and moved to Australia (which my husband and I lovingly call the Upside Down), i got married, and i’m building community and a sense of belonging from what feels like scratch. in this new chapter, i feel as much anxiety and heartache as i feel joy and thrill, though, to my surprise, sometimes more of the former. it’s a kind of grief for what was that is immediately followed by an “anticipatory grief” that rolls in like a sudden fog.

   

   the move overseas and leaving my community has me feeling pangs for all the moments (small and large) i’m missing and will miss. this is followed by a breathlessness as i realize that my longing is now lasting. people tell me it takes 18 months for a new place to feel like home. i believe them. though i do not believe it will eclipse the perpetuity of longing. it felt uncomfy at first to name it—grief is such a glaring word—but to name something is to begin to understand it, and to understand is to begin to accept.

3. recommended viewing: Universal Language (آواز بوقلمون), a Canadian film set in an alternate reality where Persian is the dominant language and home is some hybrid of Tehran and Winnipeg. it’s an absurd, disorienting comedy that is as surprising as it is familiar. one of my favorites of the year.

   

   “may all your days be filled with joy and happiness.”

4. in 2018 Tohru Dancer decided to learn how to dance and shared it with the world. now 59, he approaches each day like it’s “the youngest day of [his] life.” check out this digital profile on him from the creative collective Tokyo Misfits. some favorite dances of his: here, here, and here.

   

   “when it comes to learning how to dance, it feels like i’ve regained something.”

5. i’ve been experimenting with using a palette to guide my getting dressed every day. i’m specifically drawn to this combination of colors at the moment. have you ever let a palette guide your getting dressed?

   

   midnight blue, chocolate brown, red, sand

6. before my move to the Upside Down, i made a “dopamine list” to prepare for the inevitable transition. a list of roughly 30 tried and true activities that would prevent a funk or help me crawl out of one. it included things like “eat a croissant in a park under the sun” and “drink my morning coffee while gazing out the window” or “put down phone and read before bed.” i came across this piece from The Good Trade that explores the idea of a “dopamine menu”—breaking down the activities into different categories based on how much time and energy they take as a way to implement them throughout the day. for example:

   for a starter - some light stretching and short meditation

   for my main - walking through the city with a friend

   a side of - listening to a playlist while cooking dinner

   for dessert - watching Shogun before bed

   and every once in a while, a special - tickets to the Opera House!

   what does your menu look like?

7. on repeat: IKYK by Ogi. a song that feels like the warmth of friendship.

8. because of the move, everything is strange and new. i find myself clinging to the familiar (e.g. wearing the same sweatshirt repeatedly, re-watching comfort shows —Ted Lasso again). in an attempt to welcome the change, i’ve started carrying out small newnesses as a personal radical act. like wandering my new city in search of the best matcha, visiting a new library that’s a bit further out of the way, or creating a new ritual or habit to look forward to each day. the newest ritual i’ve adopted is preparing a fruit plate (+ mandatory chocolate) and a cup of chamomile tea with milk and honey each evening—something to ease the flood of uneasiness appearing heaviest at night. i never used to struggle with sleep, but now, just like my friends’ toddlers, i too am in a sleep regression. somehow though, this micro-act of self-nourishment has me looking forward to nighttime. small shifts, big changes. what small new thing have you begun?

   

   chamomile tea w/ milk and honey >

9. i’ve recently restarted acupuncture treatment and found a wonderful clinic here in Sydney. if you’re curious about the efficacy of acupuncture and how it can help/treat any number of ailments, i recommend looking into it and trying it out in your neighborhood. of the modalities i’ve tried, nothing compares to its immediate and long-lasting results. related: check out Dope is Death, a compelling documentary my friend Nazanin recommended about the first acupuncture detoxification program in America in 1973 that helped communities in South Bronx overcome the heroin plague. founded by the Black Panthers and the Young Lords it was “a visionary project eventually deemed too dangerous to exist.”

10. Happy Birthday 2U2 is an interactive art exhibit and card exchange by Hikok Ito currently at the Art Gallery of New South Wales. it celebrates the joy of birthdays and the unlikely community in sharing your birthday with others. i brought my friend Golnaz and her daughter Olivia when they visited me in April—it delighted us. if you find yourself in the Upside Down, check it out on view until 17 August 2025.

    

    the card i selected from my birthday twin.

11. there are many things i miss about Los Angeles. one in particular is the plethora of hand painted signs across town. modernity subjects us to the ordinary, lame stream vinyl or florescent backlit signage, or rows of multi-tenant strip mall pylon signs. hand painted signs suggest a timelessness and originality all at once, and LA is rich in them. check out this digital archive of hand painted signs in LA captured by Bryan Yonki—maybe you recognize a few? and checkout this LA Times profile of LATTC’s Sign Painting program that just turned 100 years old! the last program of its kind in the US, may it live on and on.

may you find yourself gazing out a window tonight.

more soon, xo

alex